For a short time, Sarah Huckabee-Sanders was due to be an icon among the pantheon of journalistic commandos on Fox News. Signing a deal with the network to anchor a program called:
“Alternative Facts With Sarah”, the Trump administration’s former press secretary and Sleestak ambassador was looking at a paycheck of nearly 100 million dollars a year plus access to Judge Jeanine Pirro’s used panty drawer. Now that dream has dribbled away like Mike Pence’s saliva at a YMCA basketball game.
“Gawd I know what that’s like. That’s my every Saturday.”
Upon further review of her background check for employment, human resources employees found evidence in one of Huckabee’s old BlackBerry devices showing that in November of 2016, she cast her Presidential vote for Democrat Hillary Clinton. Specifically, a notation on her calendar on election day reading : “Don’t forget to vote for Hillary today! We can’t let that fat stupid moron win, can we?” Fox Network Spokeperson Jenny Tayla told media sources that she was “shocked”:
“I mean, she was the perfect fit for us here at Fox. She’s got loads of experience lying for a living. She can spin lunacy with the best of them and make up complete nonsense like Sean or Bill. It’s really too bad. We all thought she was a Trumper. But I guess that was the real alternative fact.”
It’s like she ruins everything. Like Mumford and Sons does to having sex.
Fox is rumored to be considering Huckabee’s predecessor Sean Spicer for the time slot, floating a new title: “Spicy’s Dicey Vices”, which would be concerned with uncovering political scandals. Spicer is currently employed at a Subway sandwich outlet.