Daily news from our great America

Month: September 2019

Joe Biden Names His Supreme Court Pick – Says His Buddy Is “Fully Qualified”

Joe Biden Names His Supreme Court Pick – Says His Buddy Is “Fully Qualified”

Sleepy Joe didn’t hesitate – his pick is a close friend everyone knows. Biden’s gaffes are mounting quickly, then there’s the blood vessel in his eye, and… well, people are starting to worry about good ol’ Joe. But last night, Biden proved he IS capable […]

Muslim Boys Attack Toddler Leaving 15 Bite Marks On Her Face – Media Blackout

Muslim Boys Attack Toddler Leaving 15 Bite Marks On Her Face – Media Blackout

A little child has been scarred for life in the wake of being nibbled multiple times by Somali young men who “took in any event ten lumps” out of her face and after that “choked” her until she was “blue” — and the media is […]

Pelosi Issues Order to Place Barr Under ‘Congressional Detention’

Pelosi Issues Order to Place Barr Under ‘Congressional Detention’

Thursday afternoon, the Democratic Congress’ harassment of Attorney General Barr continues, as Speaker Nancy “Bourbon Babe” Pelosi issued an order placing him under “Congressional Detention”, a rare power of the Speakership that has only been used once, back in 1905, when Templeton Peck placed Harding’s AG Johnston Featherass in the same position for refusing to empty his own chamber pot in the West Wing.

While in Congressional Detention, Barr will be forced to remain seated within the library of Congress, where he will be given mundane tasks to perform, along with 4 other detainees, Brett Kavanaugh, who is being punished for giving Lindsey Graham a “wedgie”, former prom queen Kellyanne Conway, anti-social misfit Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, and drug addict Stephen Miller.

Insiders believe the detention will end only when the quintet discover that they all have common traits, and dance to Karla DeVito’s single: “We Are Not Alone.”

Not gay.

Pelosi truly may be pushing her authority too far this time, and may end up being locked out of the room if she isn’t careful. Her constant maneuvers may make her the person who ended up begging America not to…forget about her.

H/T: Bebest

Jealous Obama Pays To Get His Own Hollywood Star

Jealous Obama Pays To Get His Own Hollywood Star

Another ceremony on Hollywood Boulevard yesterday unveiled yet another Star on the Walk of Fame. This one, however, contained much more pomp and circumstance than usual because of exactly who was receiving the honor. For on this brisk California evening of August 8, Former President […]

Ocasio-Cortez Proposes Nationwide Motorcycle Ban

Ocasio-Cortez Proposes Nationwide Motorcycle Ban

Junior Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez has made a lot of waves recently with her Green New Deal nonsense and child-like proposals and speeches. Well, it’s no different this afternoon as the political pixie announced her intention to draft legislation banning motorcycles from use in the United […]

Trump Voluntarily Releases 5 Years of Tax Returns

Trump Voluntarily Releases 5 Years of Tax Returns

President Trump has done it again. He owns the Democrats. With a chuckle and a swoosh of his famous black Sharpie, The President released 5 years of his tax returns he says “his attorney assures him are not under audit.”

White House Director of Information and Propaganda, Art Tubolls, elaborated on the disclosure:

“The President has repeatedly shown his willingness to open his world up to extreme scrutiny. He has already allowed a witch hunt to go on, and responded tastefully after he was proven innocent. Now, he’s going to extend the same courtesy and voluntarily submit 5 years of his tax returns. He is doing so of his own free will.”

That’s great news! The liberals are silent, of course, and the mainstream media doesn’t seem to want to talk about it, but at least we know everything is going as planned and that we can now move forward with the hearings on the Clinton scandals.

The West Wing is delivering the returns to the Attorney General’s Office this afternoon, where it will be combed through for national security issues and redacted if necessary. The White House isn’t releasing what years President Trump plans to release after the sensitive documents are cleared by his team. Insiders speculate it may be 1994-99, five years that were particularly bad for Trump businesses.

That way he gets to laugh at the libs yet again as they realize he really did lose a ton of money. Checkmate, snowflakes.

H/T: DailyWorldUpdate

Socialist California Refuses To Fly US Flag ‘Until Trump Is Gone’

Socialist California Refuses To Fly US Flag ‘Until Trump Is Gone’

In a movement spearheaded by Governor Gavin Newsom, Californians are vowing to take down their Stars and Stripes and never fly them again for as long as President Trump remains in the White House, angering the President and millions of patriotic American citizens across the […]

Kaepernick Lobbies to Remove the National Anthem from Football

Kaepernick Lobbies to Remove the National Anthem from Football

Ever since that rat traitor Colon Kaepernick first took a knee at an NFL game in San Francisco, he’s been a thorn in the side of patriots from coast to coast. He claimed it was a protest over police brutality against minorities. A civil rights […]

AOC’s Home Raided By ICE; Caught Hiding Illegals

AOC’s Home Raided By ICE; Caught Hiding Illegals

ICE began its immigration raids today, foooding into homes and businesses across the country and arresting and detaining thousands of illegal aliens who are here, without permission, illegally.

One home that was subject to raid was a surprise to many onlookers and reporters – that of Democratic House Representative, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. And the reason why is shocking but hardly surprising to those on the conservative side of America.

Ocasio-Cortez was harboring fugitives of the not-legal immigrant variety so that they could avoid the announced raids. Ninety-six adults and children were found in her tiny home and led out in chains.

96 is a lot for a tiny house.

Subsequent ICE interviews with the arrested revealed that AOC had not aided and abetted these souls out of some misguided kindness, but for profit. Each was charged $6000 and a promise to vote for her in all future elections. The cash alone would keep them in her debt for years to come.

The conditions in which she held them were “deplorable”, said one agent, which would seem to indicate that they were wonderful but he must have been being facetious for the situation was anything but. Cramped, without proper sanitation, few beds, no heat – the home was cruel and she didn’t care.

Ocasio-Cortez is currently being sought out for questioning that will likely lead to her arrest.

H/T: Bebest

Barr Files Charges, Indicts Obama

Barr Files Charges, Indicts Obama

Conservative pundits, Republican leaders, and a collection of the most irrational dimwitted pumpkinheads are rejoicing this morning at reports of Attorney General Barr handing down an indictment for Barack Obama, and filing charges in Congressional court. The circumstances, however, may be surprising. Since his start […]